At Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy we believe in the importance of honoring diverse relationship structures. Polyamory, a term derived from Greek and Latin roots meaning "many loves," is one such structure that is increasingly gaining visibility. As a practice that challenges mononormative ideals, polyamory offers a framework where individuals can form consensual, ethical, and loving relationships with multiple partners. For many, polyamory is not just a lifestyle, but a deeply fulfilling way to cultivate authentic and honest relationships, grounded in mutual respect and open communication.
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic or intimate relationships simultaneously, with the informed consent of everyone involved. Unlike monogamy, which typically centers on exclusivity, polyamory celebrates the capacity to love more than one person at a time. Importantly, polyamory emphasizes ethical, consensual, and transparent relationships, making communication the cornerstone of its practice.
At the Aguirre Center, we understand that each polyamorous relationship can look different, as no single structure fits all. Below, we’ll explore several common types of polyamorous relationships, offering insight into how each might manifest within an intersectional, trauma-informed framework.
Types of Polyamorous Relationships
Hierarchical Polyamory
In this structure, relationships are arranged in a hierarchy, with certain relationships being more central or primary than others. For example, one might have a primary partner with whom they share significant life commitments, such as living together or raising children, while also having secondary or tertiary partners who play different, perhaps less involved roles in their life. While hierarchy can provide clarity, it can also present challenges, especially if power dynamics or feelings of insecurity arise.
At our practice, we encourage clients to explore how dynamics of power and privilege, particularly in relation to race, gender, or socioeconomic status, may impact their experiences within hierarchical polyamory. Communication, transparency, and intentional boundary-setting are key to maintaining healthy relationships in this structure.
Non-Hierarchical (Egalitarian) Polyamory
In non-hierarchical polyamory, no one relationship is considered more important than the others. Partners may share equal emotional, romantic, or sexual significance, and decisions about time, energy, and resources are made in a way that strives for balance. This structure often appeals to those who prioritize equality in their relationships.
For individuals navigating non-hierarchical polyamory, challenges can emerge in ensuring all partners feel valued and supported. From an intersectional lens, factors like gender, race, and cultural expectations can influence how individuals engage with the idea of equality in relationships. Our therapists work with clients to unpack these influences and create spaces for healing and growth.
Solo Polyamory
Solo polyamory refers to individuals who identify as polyamorous but choose to maintain their autonomy and independence. They may engage in multiple loving relationships but may not prioritize traditional relationship markers like cohabitation, marriage, or financial merging. Solo poly individuals often value personal freedom, self-reliance, and non-dependence on a primary partner for emotional support.
At the Aguirre Center, we recognize that solo polyamory can be especially empowering for those who have experienced trauma or oppression within more traditional relationships. Our trauma-informed approach helps clients build secure attachments and practice self-care while navigating multiple relationships.
Relationship Anarchy
Relationship anarchy is a more fluid approach to polyamory, rejecting the idea that romantic or sexual relationships must be prioritized over friendships or other connections. Individuals practicing relationship anarchy often resist societal norms or expectations regarding what relationships “should” look like. Instead, they focus on the unique bonds formed with each individual, allowing those connections to evolve organically without labels or predetermined boundaries.
For marginalized individuals, particularly LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities, relationship anarchy can offer a liberating framework. At our center, we provide a space for clients to explore how societal pressures, including heteronormativity and monogamy, may have shaped their relational identities, and how relationship anarchy can offer a path toward greater personal and relational autonomy.
Kitchen Table Polyamory
In kitchen table polyamory, the goal is to cultivate a sense of community among all partners involved. The term comes from the idea that everyone in the polycule (the network of people in a polyamorous relationship) could comfortably sit around the kitchen table together, suggesting a high degree of comfort, familiarity, and open communication among all parties.
For some, kitchen table polyamory offers an enriching sense of family and interconnectedness. However, it can also come with challenges, especially if jealousy or competition arises. Our therapists are skilled at helping clients work through the complex emotions that can arise in polycules, guiding them toward solutions that strengthen trust and collaboration.
Intersectionality and Polyamory
At the Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy, we are deeply committed to addressing the intersection of identities in polyamorous relationships. For BIPOC, Latinx, and LGBTQIA+ individuals, polyamory can be an avenue to break free from societal norms that may feel limiting or oppressive. However, navigating polyamory in a world steeped in heteronormativity, white supremacy, and mononormativity can be challenging. Cultural, religious, and familial expectations often weigh heavily on our clients, particularly in marginalized communities.
Our therapists work collaboratively with clients to explore how their cultural and social identities intersect with their relationship choices. We strive to create a safe, non-judgmental space where clients can explore how power dynamics, privilege, and societal pressures shape their relationships and personal growth.
Building Healthy Polyamorous Relationships
Polyamory requires ongoing communication, trust, and negotiation of boundaries. Whether you are in a hierarchical, non-hierarchical, or solo polyamorous relationship, the health of your relationships often depends on clear expectations, regular check-ins, and emotional transparency. At the Aguirre Center, we believe in fostering relationships where all individuals feel seen, valued, and respected, regardless of their relational structure.
Through a trauma-informed, culturally sensitive lens, we help clients develop tools for navigating jealousy, insecurity, and power imbalances. We also support individuals in healing from past relationship traumas, and guide them in building polyamorous relationships that honor their needs, values, and cultural contexts.
Conclusion
Polyamory offers a path for individuals to engage in multiple loving relationships while embracing transparency, communication, and consent. At the Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy, we celebrate the diversity of relationships and are committed to supporting our clients, particularly those from marginalized communities, in building meaningful, authentic connections.
If you are curious about polyamory or are navigating a polyamorous relationship, our poly-affirming therapists at the Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy are here to provide guidance, support, and a space for self-exploration. Together, we can explore how polyamory fits into your life and identity, and help you cultivate healthy, fulfilling relationships that align with your values.
For more information on how the Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy can support you in your polyamorous journey, please reach out to us to schedule a consultation.
Aguirre Center for Inclusive Psychotherapy
Providing affirming, inclusive, and anti-oppressive therapy in Atlanta, Georgia and beyond.